mine

Half the battle

2012-01-28T02:29:00.000+08:00

Everything seems to come to an end now, though not officially over but half is already past.

Feeling so relax even before the day of submission while everyone was chionging in the library we were there fixing bugs but somehow we went nuts laughing so loudly being rowdy. But honestly I don't really care because since when was the last time I went LOL like this, real LOL. No, I think so end up didn't curb myself and just laugh all the way together with clone at comma ignoring the existence of others who were looking at us.

Tomorrow will be going out from morning till late night I assume. Feeling so excited about tomorrow the first outing right after FYP ended and been waiting so long for this day. The only problem is I got no proper clothes! :( it's really time for shopping already. Plan to start this Sunday but seeing my character will end up waste a long time before getting them.

Dream Capability

2012-01-11T09:48:00.000+08:00

Few months ago I had this dream.

2 adult cat belong to my neighbor are in my house acting as if they are ours and no one bothers about it while outside corridor are all the little kittens belong to my neighbors playing around happily.

I was wondering if this dream will be coming true soon, lately that male yellow cat has been coming into our house to make a ruckus and yesterday morning the pregnant white cat gave birth to little kitties. Perhaps sooner or later when kitty get a little bit older we will see multiple cats playing along the corridor and they just come in for food. Like their "dad" - yellow cat coming into our house to eat Kit Kit food when he was still a kitten then.

Last night had a dream that was extended from previous night dream, this is getting more and more scarier.

Previous night I dreamt about mummy side family gathering in our house was a big group and we had quite a number of big dogs somewhat like Yoyo breed so all of us were responsible for one of them and all of us went out to have some gathering activities. Somehow I didn't went out together with them but stayed at home, soon all came back and there were so many puppies which was equivalent to the number of people we had thus each of us carry a puppy and took care of it. This was getting insane and unable to take care all of the puppy at all being confused which has just been bath etc.

While last night, was a few of different dreams with them connecting together in an unexplainable way and some seem to have dreamt about it before in the past but linked together into it. Anyway the last one was the extended dream from previous dream where again mummy side family gathering brought all the pets out for fun and this time included those dogs and puppy together with cats. We went to swimming pool for water activities which was so crowded with all the family members and dogs in the water. Towards the end, when we head back it was a chaos to handle 3 cats and 2 big dogs into the house, the cat kept running back to the car and had to hold on the leash for the dog without caution they might run off randomly and get into some trouble.

This is making me eerie with way too many pets and unable to handle them at all and wakes me up. Realize on reality Yoyo was sleeping right beside me on my bed taking up half of my pillow and bed feeling cold and curl up. Must have been a night cold again and cover her with blanket but does not seem to warm her up at all. Previous night I didn't let her sleep with me and heard from mum she was so cold and get warmth from her bed and blanket. That explain why in the morning she ignore me despite I call her and till evening when I got back home she was still the same. LOL petty Yoyo.

2012

2012-01-01T02:01:00.003+08:00

Another year gone.
Good or bad is just another year of life within the time line here on earth.
Nevertheless this shall be a better one than before knowing where are the pit fall and not to repeat the same mistake again.

Well none of my 2011 resolution was achieved as usual so might as well not to set any for this year :)

things are gonna come, the walk continues.

2011 Merry Christmas

2011-12-25T00:18:00.001+08:00

Merry Christmas with memories from the past.

No present for this year cause I'm not sleeping tonight thus Santa Claus can't deliver my present to me.

不能说的秘密

2011-12-24T23:40:00.004+08:00

那些年错过得事

#1

#2

#3

Merry Merry Christmas

2011-12-24T23:01:00.000+08:00

if only things fall in the right place.

Didn't even had tree for this year, as each year goes each festive season became part of a normal day. Initially was our birthdays no celebration with just a cake and sometimes with gift sometimes not and soon it was Chinese new year. Due to some reasons, we don't go back to celebrate still would have some decoration at home and slowly no decoration at all and festive cookies get little by little. On coming one plan not to buy any festive food at all but just cook own dishes since many places would be closed. This Christmas, no trees no Christmas food, no party, no people, no songs at all. Well at least just now manage to eat western dinner somehow look like one decent Christmas meal and bought a log cake.

Emo Christmas this time round.

Heading back to memories.

#3:38am

2011-12-21T03:38:00.001+08:00

#3:25am

Yoyo is sleeping so soundly while here I am taking a small break from FYP. It's x days for sleeping after 3am without food. Given this rate & eating for 1-2 meals a day, I might be able to burn some fats :x

FYP heading to failure :(
Trying hard to finish my last two parts but really being horrible lately whereby I can't concentrate and finish just a tiny part of it at all. This is totally making me insane. Days ago I was still being positive but right now this is total shit, feeling so end of the world for FYP just an integration is making hell out of it. All thanks for myself being so stupid and lacking only know things that were covered in modules apart from that so GG.
Doubt I get anything above C this time round.

Scout for people via social media and realised all those who are wide awake seems to be all nerds. I'm nerding too yeah just a stupid nerd trying to nerd out of it.

Been doing something that I wouldn't have done in the past. I guess that just part of growing up trying to prevent the same regret from the past.

I did it again?

2011-12-18T00:52:00.002+08:00

I don't know how, I don't know why.

But seems like it happen again unknowingly.

Though it bothers me a lot right now

Somehow my brain is telling me now isn't appropriate to.....

— Haruki Murakami

2011-12-01T21:17:00.003+08:00

“Sometimes fate is like a small sandstorm that keeps changing directions. You change direction but the sandstorm chases you. You turn again, but the storm adjusts. Over and over you play this out, like some ominous dance with death just before dawn. Why? Because this storm isn’t something that blew in from far away, something that has nothing to do with you. This storm is you. Something inside of you. So all you can do is give in to it, step right inside the storm, closing your eyes and plugging up your ears so the sand doesn’t get in, and walk through it, step by step. There’s no sun there, no moon, no direction, no sense of time. Just fine white sand swirling up into the sky like pulverized bones. That’s the kind of sandstorm you need to imagine.

An you really will have to make it through that violent, metaphysical, symbolic storm. No matter how metaphysical or symbolic it might be, make no mistake about it: it will cut through flesh like a thousand razor blades. People will bleed there, and you will bleed too. Hot, red blood. You’ll catch that blood in your hands, your own blood and the blood of others.

And once the storm is over you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.

”

#123

2011-12-01T01:01:00.000+08:00

#1
Dreamt of being in school with some friends doing Mainframe Quiz trying hard not to get another 0 marks score and end up got 4 marks which was still fail but at least better than another 0. After the quiz walked with them via the way to E4(yeah seems so real with the people and the same place) and saw 3 of another friends. Ended up in some part of the library taking a test for Mainframe (-.-|||) with those geeks and somehow someone was trying to be nice by giving me the answers right beside me but I knew that if discovered would be straight failure so somehow didn't copy and didn't found out by in charge and ended off the dream.

#2
Felt so bored and clicked on history chat log and found so many chats history somehow not really in a pattern but saw yours. Looking at it, somehow didn't felt the discrepancy but it was nice though to chat even if topic was random. Went through the rest to delete them and saw the name of FAT32, felt so ridiculous and thinking back things happen and seems so foolish to be nice to you when all I got was.......

&
Was a special day

3 occurrences- Coincidence or what?

FACT

2011-10-31T22:50:00.000+08:00

Understood.

Comprehend.

Realised.

Known.

Stop provoking me, I won't be nice to entertain your crap.

That's you

2011-10-31T22:32:00.000+08:00

Oh well, so it wasn't pretty much the same way you said it then. I guess if it wasn't for your behaviours others also would not have said so about you.

People judge, people accuse, some it just the result of your deeds.

Lousy Me

2011-10-26T23:29:00.000+08:00

Why can’t I do better than this?Why didn’t I stand firm?Why did it end up like this?Why am I being so passive?Why didn’t I look further?Why did all these happen?Why had it come to this stage?Why did I had to bother them?Why am I being stupid?Why am I hoping so much for?Why don't I just give up?

If only then I had made a firm decision that if I want to go I should have been fully prep, if I didn’t want to go I should not have even attempt in for it. See what I had brought right now?

Dream reality

2011-10-25T22:37:00.003+08:00

Dreams at night seem like a reality these days.

Started off dreaming about some people whom I see every day and somehow the scenario was changed to something else and which was what happen at the birthday party.

On the following day I dreamt about Creamy, my previous Labrador which got rehome and had not been able to visit her for about 2 years by now I guess. In the dream, she was still as naughty like she used to but with that beauty killer kawaii face made us dote on her so much despite her bad behavior. She was running in the house from kitchen to living room and at some point she would freeze there with that face and my heart just melts before she start running or get me to play with her again. Has been thinking to visit her again at least once before i leave well provided that I got the acceptance letter.

Despite dream turn into reality, even thoughts seems to turn into reality too. Had been thinking of few people whom I realise have not seen them in quite awhile and thinking of them the next moment I see them pop right in front of me. For consecutive days be it on bus, walking to school or even in campus somehow would see them with that images of their faces in my head.

In need of something to comfort this painful heart

Sorry

2011-10-25T21:59:00.001+08:00

What’s wrong with me?

Started feeling moody when meeting was over, not sure why too but nothing to do with anyone or anything just that feeling is back. Was on the phone while strolling in the drizzle asking if mum wanted to eat or I should just head home, she asked me about money stuff and I think she tried to crack a joke or something that made me spark off slightly. Everyone seems to disagree at the idea of me going oversea to get university degree especially with financial problem. Mum was on the phone with aunt and always asked about is there a need to go etc…all ways like hinting me to say forget it and just cancel the whole thing. I tried not to look it that way but as time draw nearer all seems heavier, initially I thought about my GPA falling out of 3 and that would confirm me not to worry about financial problem since i won’t even be in the pathway. Dad was like procrastinating perhaps thinking I would never make my way to it, again I don’t want to make any judgment but with latest result I actually got into roll of honours mum showed him the slip and he was like nothing much suddenly I felt that urge, prickles in my heart.

During my holidays oversea I saw how other family would be able to stay together all day fine without argument nor fight and realize the discrepancy that my parents was unable to do it and thought perhaps that was the point they needed to improve or guidance for them to improve the condition. From then on my mind was always thinking about how other family, relatives, friends family, strangers was able to get in peace while why can’t mine be like theirs. Last week I finally understood after a fight between them that problem does not lies with their character but rather the very fact that I was no more than just a adopted daughter, non-blood related. I had never thought this way neither did anyone affect me anything but based on what happen in the house over the past few years nor as each year grew, it became more obvious. Typical old people would say I should be grateful that he willingly to bring me up unlike those drama like evil step father etc, oh please I hate that what has it got to do with that. When they remarried with that piece of paper, with his name on my birth cert all this are his liability alright, nothing to do with having to be grateful it’s not like I’m not going to provide for him when he get old.

Sis is getting older without that courtesy nor manners in mind and when we tried to correct her, dad just explode off and sparks of the war between mum and dad end up I’m always the one feeling so damn hurt and no one could understand it. It’s like what the… can’t sister just be more sensible, adult be more tolerating, when they fight, sister always act like nothing happen or doesn’t bother not even her fault, adult manage to get things off their chest whereas mine just trying to squeeze inside that little bottle label fragile. I had to keep hold of myself as not to affect mum making her think that’s it’s all her fault. It’s not like once or twice fight that me being teenage cannot stand them but from my memory when I was in primary school things like this even worse happen on and off till secondary it turn out so frequent that at time I exploded felt as if I’m going nuts, cannot survive through this.

I have no idea how I went through all these still willing to stay at home obediently and not running out to spend time with friends rather. Last week they fight on Friday night while I was trying to do a proper RJ, with that sudden outburst it disrupted me and started crying as form of venting and went out on Saturday to join birthday party which I didn’t confirm to go till that fight makes me want to run away and I did finally caught a breather of things at least. But at the party was dramatic, much more unexpected of things happening.

Feeling stings of pain.

For a better?

2011-08-19T23:12:00.003+08:00

Guess 我长大了, been thinking a lot recently but same as before those thoughts were all indescribable. Words cannot seem to express them out clearly but everything is going through my mind not in a very clear motion, they are blurrish yet many are going through.

Feel burdened for unknown reasons and moody, not due to PMS but just somehow everything not making me feeling satisfied, not seeing the value in them. Family seems to be a trouble for me, education is a worry for me, life seems meaningless right now but I won’t end it. Sigh, just a feeling that cannot express not know where the root cause it and solve it.

I think time for me to move and find things in life, excitement I think. Feeling so bored and feels like doing something crazy out of the blue.

I want to change.

To do

2011-08-19T23:03:00.003+08:00

Went for driving 2 days ago after break for 6months, and met one of the dislike instructor and he seem to be pleased that I was driving well unlike previously so many mistake that I think he was pissed off but he told me about some other stuff while driving and at a moment made me confused of what I should do. Before I left, he even said hopefully tomorrow lesson will be meet, I was stun and went ‘huh?’ and ‘oh’ the next second but in me I was like I won’t want that to happen, Sir. Didn’t you know how stress I am with you as my instructor thus making so many mistakes.

Yesterday lesson went the same as 2 days ago lesson with the first instructor sleeping and I end up doing my own practices for parking and mount the kerb to wake him up but end up as my penalty for assessment L never mind it was just a lesson. The next lesson tio the dislike instructor again and so sian to see him, make a few mistake and I think he seems angry again hahas, almost got into accident with taxi driver appearing out of nowhere when I change lane to u-turn. I was shocked and lost reaching the bend before u-turn just stop the car and clear for a second to move on, felt damn stress and bad for so much wrong. Not sure if he could see my stressed look, but I think he tried to be nice and explain to me of the taxi driver instead of lecture me.

After lesson felt so bad and went emo, at night went off to jog a little despite sore legs but after jog soreness went off. Felt really good after the jog and watch the stars for a while before heading home and heard frogs croaking -.-|||where did that come from?

Find Your Papa - FYP

2011-08-11T00:16:00.000+08:00

Before FYP
Decided to leave my at the last minute thinking the impossibility to work with ss anymore being such a ss. However felt really bad for xx, she's nice and good but her good friend is too much for me to continue on as a team.

After FYP
Glad & Thankful for leaving the team with such a bitch in the team, I won't be able to survive. Taking credit of others, taking work of others and presented as if it was hers. Trying to flatter evaluator when suggestion was give by advisor not them. Really damn pissed off with her for being such a ss. It's fine if you don't know how to do work and we can help but it's not fine for being such a kind person. I really agree with that current trend about horoscope under the category she falls under.

Presentation was on Monday and it made me so damn piss for days with the image of her flooding my mind but unable to release that anger out. Even at night I dreamt and felt the awfulness. Today finally able to put it down after telling someone about it, I guess that it works to tell someone.

Evaluation

2011-06-08T00:38:00.001+08:00

Too much FYP breaks us down

See what I mean?

Holidays aren't holiday

2011-06-04T00:42:00.000+08:00

Holidays plan are ruined :(

Thought of going out with friends for movie this weekend but end up all uncertain and hiking with Piglet but end up having workshop and evaluation on that day. Oh man, damn sad having to stay at home this short holidays with so much stress without nowhere to vent. Having zero motivation for anything since afternoon meeting.

uhhh, suddenly miss hanging out with Piglet but poof & miss spending time with friends to relax but :((( I really got no life hahas. Wondering if I should find someone during the week for some recreational activity. Hopefully this weekend will be able to see at least 2 of them for dinner & movie even though only be like 2-3hours.

Sometimes I was about to spill the beans unconsciously

I Don't Care. but can I?

2011-05-30T23:42:00.001+08:00

I Don't Care - 2NE1

Alright, the tough is over now at least for a week shall have my break to sleep more and do what is necessary to prevent regrets :)

Today had BPM wondering, worried about how things till turn out and got lectured by her for saying we blame her cause that is the easiest thing to do and we do not make an effort to review, WTH? Well I agree to my concept is bad but I still do my part okay? Maybe she's not referring to me but still.....
I feel like giving up BPM & stop trying to hard for 'A' anymore, I tried for the past 4 weeks but always seems to have no improvement at all. Why is this bloody hell my core module instead of elective, if it's elective at least I won't try so hard and stress out. Oh ITPM been getting B without know why but I figure it out to focus on core instead since elective will be additional certificate from now on thus even A for 15 weeks still it's just a cert without affecting overall GPA. Mid term evaluation is coming up most likely to be during holidays but coding has not even been done much!! I realise I'm not feeling as stress as previously but I do start to eat alot, this is bad sign turning stress into food. I always want not to care but end up always like cannot leh it affect my life forever ---Enough of school related stuff now---

Well, recently been sleeping really bad and bodyache...ahh must be a sign of growing old hahas. Hoping to be able to meet up with friends. I think my mind is screwed, this post is getting all over the place & here i'm gonna end it :)

nineteenth

2011-05-24T23:06:00.001+08:00

Take break before going off to sleep (:

Well, mine 19^th is now over and soon shall be my sister 12^th in another 90minutes. This year intended to go out with IEP friends but end up only two could make it but nevertheless still better than rot at home without celebration (:

Initially was so forward looking to Saturday 22th May 2011 but as it approaching I don’t really look forward because 23^rd May 2011 is a Monday & I’m having BPM on that day! Anyway, on Saturday my friends kept pushing the time back further to meet so I watched TV and relax till time almost up then prepare. My eyes closing being so relax while watching the show, suddenly Yoyo bark continuously I turn my head & saw Siew Ying. LOL at that instant I knew she lied to me about meeting later. But I was so happy to have such surprise but had to expose my house to them :(

They brought a cake, a very big fruit cake just for me being the nice big sister I asked my sister over to join me and cut the cake together. She really arh, don’t know how to appreciate. After cake, went out to I have no idea where and they refused to tell me despite Siew Ying said she will list down few places and let me choose. Took MRT to Bishan and change to circle line then realise it would be faster if alight at Dhoby Ghaut to get to Bras Basah. We walked through streets, sweat with the scorching hot sun, lost and find for map finally we reach Mint Museum of Toys.

I saw so many Mickey & Minnie! Yes, my favourite character when I was a kid, I’m a fan of Looney tunes & warner brothers J & I still watch those cartoon now! They had so much collections of the toys but not really as much as I expected, saw Bunny Bugs(I know it’s the other way round but it rhyme either way), Popeye the sailor man(Last week NS, my teammate pronounce it as pop eye. LOL), Betty the big boobs(my secondary friend used to call it), Batman(fat one!), Snoopy!, Ultraman, 7 dwarfs, noddy, 3 little pigs etc….they had different version based on years and country. I saw this watches of Mickey Mouse, ♥ I had one too when I was young almost the same as those inside the cabinet with red leather strap.

2 hours later we ended the visit to the toy museum, walked through Bugis to locate food but really no idea what to eat then suggested western food and nothing pretty nice there so MRT again to Plaza Sing & went into Fruit Paradise since there was less people. Their design was really nice but so sad cannot sit at the corner to enjoy outside view and the design, their food hum….well I don’t know but tart seems not bad which became my birthday breakfast in the end.

Monday 23^rd May 2011, here comes the day to see xxx but is that fate!? She didn’t come and module chair stood in and we voice out to her about our opinions. Well I’m pretty sure there won’t be much changes and in worst case we shall suffer for next 10 weeks. Spent the day like any other normal day except saw a lot of my friends somehow, and facebook was flooded with wishes :D We are just Z generation uses facebook and phone can be thrown away already.

Tuesday 24^th May 2011, today lesson was short and came home early since no internet connection in school. While doing my quiz struggling to understand that weird question, again Yoyo bark ferociously & I saw 3 guys with cake standing outside my house :D

My beloved cousins came, I thought they failed to come out since they were busy and did not come yesterday but here they are with another surprise and cake. Hahas this year, parent never celebrates with us and no cake at all but end up having 2 cakes! Last year didn’t intend to buy cake too but in the end one of my friends came with cake out of the blue, conclusion – birthday must have a cake. Hahas. I was busy trying to complete quiz and let them wait for me finally time’s up for quiz and went out to chat with them then back at laptop to rush RJ, an hour pass and finally I’m done and went out for dinner. Lucky today was Banking & everything was relatively easier compare to other modules. It’s just so fun and happy to see them, listen to them, and spend time together. Took a couple of pictures & they left to go back Malaysia hahas so glad they took the effort out and celebrate for me despite it’s only like 2-3hours. ♥♥♥

2011-05-19T21:16:00.003+08:00

If you don’t help yourself, no one else will.

2011-05-17T01:37:00.002+08:00

I’m looking forward to the day but I’m telling myself not to in order to prevent hyper chiong-ing of the week.

Went to jog today since tomorrow is going to be another holiday and today lesson is much more comfy than others. I tried to ran but did not even complete one big round while they ran like much more, this cannot be compare cause mine stamina is zero. Hehes I tried to push myself slightly further while going up slope which I don’t like and I ran up running fast halfway, too fast to pace up with my breadth and finally pause to wait for them and also thinking I should be cautious just in case I faint due to lack of oxygen transportation. Felt really good to sweat non-stop especially when I stopped and feel the heat and sweat coming down but not till the level of sweat dripping down from my head…

I had been dreaming about some random people but not really random on the other hand. I never like this person in school and somehow we went shopping together….wth but it was a short one. Also dreamt about this guy know from internship but forgot what he was doing there.

Dreamt of piglet twice once was really weird when we meet up supposedly to be in school environment but end up there was this super big spaceship? Or ship in the air like the airplane tries to connect to the terminal which was meant to be our school. It was really an awesome sight but school suddenly become this shopping centre with a lot of Food that stink the place cause of it’s aroma. Second time was last night, Piglet & I was doing FYP together and this advisor commented about our project not being good or whatever. Weird part is we specialise in different area, different school but can still do FYP together with only 2 people? Ohh then I dreamt about meeting my FYP team whereby this lovely place with lots of others in the morning and someone was late which made me worry cause my lesson start at 9:45am and it was 9:00am this person was still nowhere to be found.

Somehow my dream shifted to one of the person I know during internship don’t know what the hell he was cooking and look really unpleasant taste it will be to me despite finally it look very decent. I think there was this someone who matters to me and my relatives was there and seems to know it and they were all waiting for me to speak but I refused and the person left, I ran no idea in mind to where but I think they thoughts I was going to chase after that person ahahahs but I end up ran back to my own house with all my relatives followed after me and everyone was gathering at my house.

All the recent weird dream I had recently, some dream just kept popping up in my mind during the day as if to tell me something or to remind me about something but well dreaming is always what I had so it doesn’t matter anyway. At least now I can sleep well at night compared to beginning of semester stress till cannot even sleep properly. But then again UT is coming arhhhhhhh.

suddenly,

2011-05-10T23:57:00.002+08:00

Week 3.

2011-05-03T23:33:00.001+08:00

Moving on to week three now.

Busy like hell but specifically, not really just that I'm slow in doing things which drag over period of time whereby someone else could have already accomplish so much more. Efficient.

Just realize that I had made my teammate to do more for some FYP tasks because I was always thinking I have 5 days module no time to do it. Then again would that be too much?

I had been slacking, refusing to do school related work for the past two days and rot at home. Seems good but greater attraction for more slack and less motivation for school work. These two weeks just felt as though I'm a CEO of xxx company having worldwide business around not being able to make time out for non-business related. The fact is, I'm just using that as an excuse to get away from greater responsibility. Nah, I'm just faking. True hard fact is this is driving me to more emo each day. I can't sleep at night despite feeling tired, but on next morning I am awake around seven to eight be it weekends or days.

I'm not a human anymore nor zombie yet but a panda.

2011-04-29T23:58:00.000+08:00

another 'C' to make it 2 'C' for daily grade.
miserable semester really. I'm just getting way too much misery with this semester.

Last night finally went to jog like after months of thinking and I did. Manage to only run 4 rounds for the first time in so many many months I haven been exercise at all. It was tough and pain but I went on and felt really nice to sweat it out. I think it manage to help me sleep better too after sweating, I should plan to jog for moreeee :)

First time stayed in school till 9pm and head home. It's only initiation stage and going home so late what happen when the real thing comes - coding that is like going to happen in next 2 weeks. Till then everything will be disaster, I was thinking I manage to keep it up and would I just flunk and screw everything at the very last moment of before graduation.

12:29am - can't sleep

2011-04-25T00:28:00.002+08:00

I can't sleep. So I decided to write my diary which been left for months.

I saw my wanted list set for 2011 and realise
5/9 wanted list items come true despite 8 more months to end 2011 :)
Hahahahas, like for years never know what I wanted for gifts & all now it's all here.

Flip through to see what else is being written
Joy, Sad, Deception, Adoration, Idolatry, Inferiority, Anger, Cries & many more.....
it's all in there.

An unhappiness today is a joke of tomorrow.

in doubt

2011-04-24T15:11:00.001+08:00

School started for a week. I was wondering if I had made the right choice to take up 5 modules with project on hand. I kept thinking about the difficulty in juggling them of course with new rules and policies it made everything worse for me. Feel that I really sucks for trying to be one when I have no capabilities - trying to wear a big hat when my head is really small.

Friday was a holiday, first time I was so glad that public holiday falls on weekday. I had a great time off on friday went out to Zoo with friends. 3 failed to turn up but 4 of us still had fun, felt retard to go Zoo for birthday celebration: cranky idea of mine shahs. But zoo is a nice place to go especially when last time we went was like in primary school days. Didn't manage to walk finish due to the rain and unprepared for the rain. Seriously I thought it was sad for elephant to perform when it's raining and audience boo when announce to be cancelled instead of being considerate for the animals. Our zoo animal are as precious as our citizens, you know.

Since it rain, we went to eat dessert at Plaza Sing. Boss was evil keep taking revenge shot on me when I didn't take picture of her or I only tried to take picture of others. Anyway I upload everything without house keeping ended up she uploaded 30 of my photos with….& she kept talking about bringing me to croc farm and throw me in on my birthday *evil* I remembered about throwing her into pool which is safer than crocs pool further more swimming pool can swim back leh, if throw me down sure handicap even if they rescued me out on time.

Had dinner at NEX because I said I never been there before thus we went there for dinner hahas. Dinner was nice :) but again I could not finish last 3 slice of the meat and did an exchange for watermelon. Ohh reminds me of walking watermelon we saw at the zoo. Find some spot to take pictures as memories with the birthday boy. Some part I just laugh uncontrollably till my face red, hot and almost tear.

It's nice to get out with friends and get away from my troubles but I guess they are the only cliques to be meeting and going out together, the rest ran away from me cause i'm too scary hahahas

We'll be meeting up soon, another getaway before UT starts :)

I'm stress.

2011-04-16T00:25:00.000+08:00

Though I chose 5 days module but I really did not expect them to let me take 5 since my GPA drop & I'm out of top 10.

Imagine 5 days module with FYP on Saturday, I'm really worried. Worst part is, they change the rules of 15/15 and others which made it much more easier to flunk. Lastly, I just realized to graduate I have to take 5 core but I only took 2 core instead, I'm might not be able to graduate.

School fees is also another matter, imagine you paid more than $3,000 for those extra modules and end up you cannot get into the University. That's is terrible. Especially right now, financial seems to be a problem and my sister today told us she want to get into a private secondary school with 250/month school fees which 4 years will be $12,000 still have leftover for me to buy air ticket. I been bother by school fees months ago when I learnt that I would be the one paying my University school fees, apparently got to take loan.

I hate this. Didn't even tell me beforehand and now crap what the shit. Honestly I tried my best not to say this but seriously. Why the hell you have the means to live out there and use credit card like nobody business and what no money to pay come here take money from us and now my University fees are gone yet you happy go lucky there still want more money. This person is my dad's second sister who is now living in .. I forgot where but a very good place. Money Money Money why the hell are you bothering and messing up our life. Why is there a price to everything.

I doubt I will survive through this, I am determine to run this through but I am afraid I lose myself in this. Initially I never set my mind set on going into University but rather just go along and see if I will be able to make it in the end. When told to have to pay for these extra modules everything changes. If I am going to pay for this then I shall make this happen. It will be tough, tough. When timetable was out, I started thinking, envying others who are not bother by academic result but on long term basis this is not what I want. I don't want to have those thoughts in the past of regrets after regrets there is nothing I could accomplish but at least get good grade or sufficient for me to get a decent job and live through my cravings. (I don't have much cravings though)

Even if I get through this and accepted into University, another matter if I would be able to graduate there within 2 years.

2011-04-09T11:40:00.003+08:00

Finally IEP ends & a week left

Glad that it ended before more things come finding me
Sad that it ended for time spend with interns was crazy

Made gifts for my department ended up I became walking zombie for days but happy with their compliments :)

forgotten

2011-02-26T22:55:00.000+08:00

I've forgotten

what is smiles,

what is laughter,

what is happiness,

how does it feels to be carefree

why do we fight to live each day when there seems to be nothing more meaningful.

bottleneck

2011-02-26T22:36:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I'm worried that

someday I might just leave the house and

never come back again.

LIFE

2011-02-23T21:36:00.002+08:00

Your life plays out on the shadows of the wall. You turn the light on to erase it all. You wonder what it’s like to not feel worthless. So open all the blinds and all the curtains.
ALY AND AJ, NO ONE

http://quote-book.tumblr.com

stress

2011-02-23T01:03:00.000+08:00

I'm haven been able to feel relax at all ever since UT ended.

Now I can't fall asleep finally from too much stress, past two days had difficulty with sleeping too but still lethargic overwhelm comfortableness. Been feeling so sick of life at home with constant problems and sigh here and there, even if there is no words spoken the atmosphere is enough to suffocate me. I tried to sleep early since on monday I will have to wake up at 6am but shit start to feel so unwell be it during asleep or when I am awake. Now my stomach start to grumble: hungry but I don't plan to eat supper lols guess I still have to eat in the end.

When When When can I start to feel the lightness that I want to.

钱钱钱，长大了要为钱烦恼了

2011-02-21T12:04:00.000+08:00

Supposedly, university fees was to be borne by parents till recently they were talking over dinner and I start to see the fact that it seem like I was supposedly to be the one paying instead of them. How do I phrase it? Mum was asking dad about university fees, then he start to say then CPF there leh also need to pay what etc.. hinting as if I should be thankful that he is paying when I was suppose to be the one paying. I was kind of wth,

the issues with $$ isn't suppose to be my fault because! His sister got herself into debts overseas and came to us to help her out so one sum vanished.
Secondly, his mother was like wth last time when my parents were working together she wanted them to hand over every single cents to her instead for my parents to save for the future so didn't manage to save much either.
Thirdly, kind of most angry one. Previous two was like already happen so nothing to be grumpy about but he just bought a $300 ipod for my sister 2 days ago after the university issues.

well I understand that if you are really like financial problem in supporting me to university of course I will be considerate to go work and study at the same time to support myself. But things does really seem like this you know. Like now so many things I need to start buying then there you are like wanting me to use my own money when you don't let me work during vacation, when I don't have much angpao money also. If at least I start to work now, saving will start to be there then won't be so xin ku in the future.

Actually I am seriously unhappy with him over money issues when I NEED to buy my things like laptop, shoes, etc... which i NEED and yet he like huh....then I start to sian already always hearing them about saying then the money leh? OMG WTH you happily buy new phone for yourself which only lasted few days and sold it off, happily buy new bicycles cost over thousands, happily buy ipod for sister which she obviously don't NEED it yet when I need, you down there HARRRRRRRRR.

1 word: BIASED. Say only ma but I know right to the very deep end, this is the fact. Based on so many things & occasions I been and seen through.

Again

2011-02-21T11:50:00.001+08:00

Got a new pair of shoes

unfair

2011-02-20T11:39:00.002+08:00

My 12 years old sister has an iPod - apple product when I don't even have one yet :(

TWITTER

2011-02-19T13:31:00.001+08:00

seriously?

concluded

2011-02-19T00:15:00.000+08:00

full stop to year 2.

everything finally ends but that doesn't lessen my burden in any way. the truth is, it's just the beginning of everything. I hate this, only with a week to rest which is definitely not enough for me after endless assignments and tests. Just as the picture said. Guess I could only really make use of this 7days or rather 5days to sleep&play all I want. I had to stop my driving lesson and the worst part is, extend my PDL God knows when will I be able to finish everything and get my license.

don't & won't

2011-02-16T23:48:00.003+08:00

if allow

2011-02-16T23:48:00.000+08:00

run baby run

2011-02-16T23:27:00.000+08:00

Crappy shit

2011-02-16T21:48:00.001+08:00

DSA UT3 was disaster, there none that I know how to do seriously even had blank for 5 marks questions.
Decided to revise for next 2 days UT in order to do better, at least an attempt to make up for my laziness for UT2
Then I saw my confirmation mail that made me hyper happy but not for even 3 seconds
I got a C+ for php UT2 after so much effort
IEP seems bad on a detail look of having to work 9 hours for 6 weeks with pay of $750 but not sure if the workload would worth that much
Right now feel like rojak all mixed up - unable to concentrate, no mood for anything.

Lovely lab pup

2011-02-15T11:32:00.002+08:00

Aren't he adorable? I want lab pup too if only I get to move to private estate first. He reminds me of Creamy! Hopefully we will be able to visit her after everything ends.

Quote

2011-02-14T19:43:00.002+08:00

The only failure is not to try

- George Clooney

-2.5ml

2011-02-13T02:12:00.003+08:00

with -2.5ml dosage I'm knock out within 45 minutes.

i'll try to make it possible :)

the last day of year 2.

2011-02-11T23:12:00.001+08:00

school's over but surely GPA drop at least maintain in the range of 3 would be enough.

UT3 is coming, haven study.

Assignment result, WAD 1&2 : 69/100, DSA 1: 33/50 DSA 2: 53/70
apparently I was stupid enough to make the same mistake TWICE, twice misunderstood my faci questions and said I didn't do when I clearly did and also obviously he does not see our codes so what's the point of submitting? amazingly my java was kind of good, unexpected thought it be like around passing mark.

Time to select proposal, feel so pessimistic looking through them 90% I don't know them at all and I kind of decide to go only IT-general proposals, rest are too tough. I don't know how am I going to survive through all, even if I did by then I would be barely alive.

cough still on and off, last night was on IM and intend to study but all of a sudden felt like i'm going to drop off. told mummy I need to sleep now before I drop on the floor *lightbulb* it's effect of medicine. Couldn't really fall asleep with brain being active but physically broke.

the last day of year 2.

2011-02-11T22:48:00.003+08:00

i don't know where to begin.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
beamless(1 word)

2011-01-30T02:59:00.004+08:00

Everyoneissleepingsosoundlyandsnoringevenyoyoandkitkitexceptformewitheyeswideopenandsittinginfrontof
computerplayinggames.IknowthatIwillnotbeabletosleeptonightfordifferentreasons.oneisthatIamafraidwhich
seemssotomeanotheristhatIneedtosleeponmyownbedwithblanketplusblosterthelastoneisIamtoohungrytofall
asleep.sighhowfunnythatitisnotbecauseIamtoobusytillIhadnotimetosleepbutrathernothingtodoandtooscaredto
fallasleep.

2011-01-29T22:30:00.000+08:00

URGH! so pissed of right now.

Went to the pet shop to get pet's stuff and manage to did some stuff for business too :) But stupid foolish old man every time never fails to lose his temper on our way back from there. Just now I called him to pick us up and he's attitude was wth man. Argh! I brought most of the things up first since sister wanted to wee wee every time also like that, there got toilet don't want to use come back then uh I want wee wee. Goodness sake how old is she already yet behave like a toddler. So I left the gate open since I still had to carry all the stuff and also easy for them to carry the rest in. Guess what, 好心给雷劈！Got scolded for why left the gate open, first time I shouted across the kitchen that we just reached and he repeated again I wanted to blast off and throw a bomb at him but all of a sudden I just go sigh. Still very very very angry but seriously what's the point in arguing with foolish, uneducated old man it just kills my brain cell and worsen my headache.

I SHOULD REALLY GET MY DRIVING LESSON BY THE END OF THIS YEAR AND STOP HAVING TO RELY ON HIM! WTH

2011-01-24T23:39:00.003+08:00

2011-01-23T00:39:00.000+08:00

I'm green!

Envy of friends and cousins going out, having fun, enjoying life!

I've got no life. shit.

2011-01-22T23:00:00.001+08:00

Something is triggering me underneath of all. There has been multiple of little triggers pulled off from time to time making me thinking about the time in secondary school days unknowingly. I really miss them so much and do fee like doing things that bring me back.

- Spending time together with friends outside till sun set, tiring myself but feeling time was well spent
- Going youth service with joy and gladness having accompany with me instead of one person at the corner somewhere trying hard not to be noticeable
- Chatting/SMS with friend late at night when sleep was not important any more

One by one, little by little, they start popping up and soon it makes them all so valuable to me. There are a lot of things that I never got to have them nor understand them in the past perhaps I was different, slower than my friends to have the teenage emo thing. Right now, when it's all over after so long I finally got it.

Dear skinny hairy emotional lady,
I don't know or even think you would read my blog but I finally understood your emotional phases back in secondary school days when you suddenly get so sad, or even start crying. You always tell me about your emotional being like last night all of a sudden you saw a roach and got frighten up and no idea why later on you just kept crying your heart out. To me, it all seems ridiculous but I only manage to got it after years and only recently when out of the sudden I felt the same way too.

To: Lovely cell leader,
I was new to the cell and always quiet but staying near to you whenever we had cell. You tried your best to build a relationship and get me talking, involve but I was cold, having no idea what I could say or talk to all of you. When you left the cell, I felt the importance of your presence but it was all too late and I started backing out. Now I yearn so much to talk or for you to start, Hey it's you xinyi thing but it never happen despite I was in front of you a couple of times. I am envy and hope to be part of the big family, well I tried the last time but I still felt some people doesn't seem to like my presence end up I still ran.

My HappyApple,
I felt at ease and comfort with you around me without having to fear nor worry, you are always bright and shine, helpful and trustworthy. Once when our class were doing the great wall, out of all hands out, yours was the first I reach out without much processing. Even when we went to Malaysia for school trip, when you lend out your hand it seems to give people confidence in you.

Weird one,
I do not know how to phrase the thing between us, it seems weird and complicated to me but it's funny. Well, I have no idea how to put in words but yes I miss those times too.

All these and more to come I know, I miss them so much and I feel like going back to Christ Church and walk around the school to find back those feeling despite most of them was not as good as I wanted it to be.

it's kind of the first time to me being daring enough and putting them out for all to see. well, I'm self conscious perhaps there will not be next time :)

2011-01-22T22:13:00.001+08:00

Mdm-Wongs-Shelter

The two picture reminds me of my dear Yoyo, look quite similar but this is David Lee not Yoyo Ng hahas. It's sad to see them confine in cages but no matter how bad it is and definitely better than having them loitering outside living in fear with who the hell know someday any sick guy catch them. I used to thought about having a place to look after those poor abandon cute doggy but later on realise I have no ability for such great thing therefore I decided to love & take good care of my own pets would be the greatest thing I can do to reduce suffering of those lovely woofs.

Whenever I see dogs without owner, it always reminds me of how Yoyo became part of us years ago. It was weird thinking back about it but I really don't mind and if it happens again I would still make the same decision :) well, it's the feeling of joy & blessing that would be hard for you to comprehend.

2011-01-21T19:20:00.000+08:00

After so long, it's still the same. I thought it would have change slightly..

Your Type is
ISFJ

Introverted	Sensing	Feeling	Judging
Strength of the preferences %
89	25	38	67

ISFJ type description by D.Keirsey
ISFJ Identify Your Career with Jung Career Indicator™ ISFJ Famous Personalities
ISFJ type description by J. Butt and M.M. Heiss

Qualitative analysis of your type formula
You are:

very expressed introvert
moderately expressed sensing personality
moderately expressed feeling personality
distinctively expressed judging personality

2011-01-18T00:01:00.000+08:00

It's a year since she went away for good :)

We had been to see her for months as assignments and test crush me down literally.

She's cute & I miss her too. Should visit her some time after everything ends...

Once my beloved, always my beloved

(((((((:

:)))))))

(((((((:

:)))))))

2011-01-08T22:47:00.000+08:00

Okay I'm here slacking off again though I'm suppose to get some serious work done. I have not been serious with my work recently each in class like bo chap and really do nothing for OS and MIS module despite I tried hard to do ws, pdt, ppt actually it's all nothing but a shell. I'm expecting C to come from this week onwards or even D for assignments.

I'm trapped with so much things and everyday I see mum she would pour out all her problems unto me which made me feel depressed with so much input despite I'm way so bloated.

School has been 'I dunno what to say', some modules I am really going way down on it especially MIS & OS but DSA was fine last week which Ms Ting broke up my team and I guess it was much easier for her to eye on me as she walk past. I was afraid to let her see I'm weak in it but when she came over and help me(a little which I still got stucked) I felt better at the end of the day least I solved it, did enhancement :)

4 more weeks and big break will be here though not really break. But least not having to go school and face some idiotic people. 4 weeks is kinda long but I am really trying not going into skip school mode and I am saving my off to the last 2 weeks of the semester hehes during the last second week there will be days off for CNY & assignments. Assignments has been really bad, I'm stucked at the form upload part and alot of part has not been done yet, DSA I only manage to do the layout(like HTML) but no logic, not working at all. Tests are all coming one by one each week and I did not study them at all even for SAD. I think I will just flunk everything this time -- Daily Grade, Assignments, Tests.

It's time for me to change. -- I wanted these things before but right now it become a NEED.

My Laptop has been providing inconvenience for me lately with problems popping up here and there. I forgot password for the virtual box stupid thing and I can't do anything during OS lesson adding on internet on laptop is really annoying me. It also get hang and lag so easily lately taking own sweet time to start up. It can still function but really not as good as it should be.

I've been wanting to get new pair of shoes but been dragging for months now and the only pair of shoe left - converse is going down too with threads coming out and soon be able to poke through my shoe from the bottom worn out sole. Anyway I don't intend to get converse right now has been sticking with it for years time to try out others :)

Hum...I need new clothes too! Shopping? Where? Who?

Hahas, I know this post is random and messy but really I don't care. & I shall try to work out the stupid problem I met for php thing saying the name of field not identify and I changed, it got identify but cannot insert value into database wth. Oh I still need to do module selection soon but can't log on to VPN from home :(

2010-12-25T02:15:00.000+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS

though not a very merry one but still should be glad and thankful for this day :)

brothers manage to arrive and ate dinner together lols I think this year dinner's is pretty balanced and serving is just nice. Though only 2 of them but their voice is more than enough to feel the crowd in the house. While chatting with Dr Ng, one of the brother called from Malaysia and said he got into an car accident but thankfully is only the car that is damaged and uncle rushed down to see his car. Lols just as the clock struck 12.

2010-12-24T00:17:00.000+08:00

好失望，好开心，好烦恼，好累，好懒，好想

好失望， one by one last minute decide not to come for the party -.- idiot, only left brother said he will come since all don't want to come but God knows tomorrow somehow he decided not to come too.

好开心， had gathering with secondary clique today not to much people nor too little just the six of us it's like in secondary one when the few of us get to know each other and stick around. Initially will be a big group like gathering for sec 4 class but end up only few of us turn up. Everyone had a gift for the birthday girl except me :( I wanted to bake her a cake but tired & lazy so decided to treat her to movie. I'm glad to receive a card from her too, guess she's the first I had received a card for all these years on christmas, thanks :)

好烦恼， bomb been going on and off at home and I'm really sick and tired of their nonsense having to be the endure-er and neutral to be the middle man. If they bomb on Christmas I shall be like, go ahead and quarrel and after you guys have finish let me know. A lot of things have also been happening on the postage side giving us all sorts of rubbish and excuses, ridiculous.

好懒，it's been like almost a week from the start of holidays and I have not started on assignment, I am lazy to do and get sick sitting in front of the computer most critical of all, I don't know how to do and no one is willing to teach me :(

好想，I feel good right now everyday sticking at home and do some house work, sit in front of the TV etc and don't want to get back into life of school.

2010-12-21T21:32:00.000+08:00

Christmas is coming! I'm so excited and looking forward for it though only two cousins will make it this year. Better than none :)
Oh, during lunch saw somebody and I had no idea why mum invited him & his girlfriend to the party too I thought she said only to get people of the same blood to come? Never mind I've got one extra gift to receive :x

Having and enjoying holidays because I have not work on assignments yet nor revise for tests but sigh at the thought of all these. Intend to go for lesson but all slots are fully booked so I had to go one for each day at random timing tomorrow will be 815am omg, have to wake up like 7am? and out of house before 745am.

I cut my fringe off because I hate to clip them up when I go for lesson like an idiot, lols mummy said I'm nerd while my sister laugh when she sees me :( I think I look much younger right now :) hahas I'm always am whenever I cut short my hair :o Only when I reached home at night looking at it feeling something wrong then I realise I meant to cut like this when I mean cut short but it always end up different. You'll know when you see me back in school.

I think I am starting to turn into a shopaholic, we have an ipod nano few years back nobody use it as dad said he want to sell it but it's been like years so finally I took it out and intend to use it. I charged it for the whole day but I can't on it :( not sure because no battery or what(if anyone knows, please tell me) so I went to apple store and saw other products they had hahahas, 'i' is so addictive and I feel like getting some of their products- iphone, ipod, mac book. Been thinking if I should get iphone 3 since it appeal to me more than iphone 4 and it should be similar to Samsung Galaxy (not very sure cause i'm idiot with these)but I don't know dad suggest Samsung galaxy for me but in fact he wanted it himself -.-

The dates, day and to do's are confusing me.
Wednesday - 22rd
- lesson at 815am
- return DVDs

Thursday - 23rd
- lesson at 1030am
- collect food from CS after 12pm
- gathering at night
- cousin coming out

Friday - 24th
- collect food from NTUC after 12pm
- party at night
actually I should collect those food like on 24th but I got all confused end up with one on Christmas eve eve hahas.

I just found this out ---- Increase your protection on facebook
The latest 'protection' fb came up with in order to inform you if there is someone else hacking into your account whatever but the key point is, you have to provide country living in with service provider but they don't have a country - Singapore -.-

2010-12-17T21:34:00.000+08:00

I felt so sad during presentation.

It was raining heavily when I decided to leave, without umbrella again.

Thinking it would not rain or rather I'm lazy to have one more thing in my bag.

By the time I reach place without shelter it stopped raining. So, didn't had to walk in the rain like yesterday. But still end up walking in drizzling rain when reaching home.

Saw Doris at the entrance of CWP and stoped for a chat for her and Grace while I stood there like statue for minutes before finally head off to CS to order Christmas food.

Went to library see if New Moon was not on loan, of course it was still on loan.

There's a book due on July of 2010 till now it's still on loan -.-

Hello can the person please finish it and return?

2010-12-11T10:55:00.004+08:00

Christmas Tree is here :)

We went to pick our tree on Thursday, pretty wow at the size of the tree not even taller than my sister finally able to get one that looks pretty. It has a very pleasant refreshing scent, mum said it can cover the smell of our pets but that's true, every morning when I open the door I could smell it and when I'm back home instead of Yoyo dog smell in my room now becomes the smell of this tree.

Kit has been hiding at the bottom of the tree and scared me while I walk past over and over again. Yesterday morning I could not find her and saw her hiding in there. When I walk from right to left she would turn to hide the other side and kept going the alternate direction to keep me away from catching or seeing her.

FYI, this is a real Christmas tree.

2010-12-11T10:47:00.000+08:00

2 decisions made me regretted.
- Waking up in the morning & going to school
- Partial during lunch break & email faci

When faci was seriously explaining the problem statement and everyone was attentively listening to him, I could not breathe for that split seconds and tried hard to catch my breadth which took me awhile without anyone knowing. The reason for that is a visitor from another team came and sat beside me but he reek of smell, cigarette. It's not the usual one that I always smell while walking in public think it's from his own country. I smell it when he first came over and tried to endure it as usual but somehow all of a sudden there I goes start unable to breathe.

Later on I felt better but brain seems to lack of oxygen feeling kind of moonwalking, weak and unable to think. during second break decided to partial and go to Borders with Mum as she went to see doctor. I wanted to tell faci face to face but he was rushing off and failed to tell him so I decided to email him but he seems cannot be bothered with me, didn't reply my email. I hesitated all the way from classroom to briefing to home despite I told my team I was going to partial, mum that I was going to partial. Psycho myself about don't feel bad to partial even if I stayed I won't get a 'B'. It sound ridiculous hahas but it's the second time I partial for these year + months.

Seriously I didn't want to wake up in the morning and goes to school but still went primarily due to the briefing thing. Oh well at least I think I spend my day there pretty good :) But now I don't know how to do RJ & even if I do, will he still give me 'D' or 'F'?

2010-12-09T14:12:00.002+08:00

Why was the lawyer studying the Bible right before he died?

He was looking for loopholes!

2010-12-07T21:33:00.001+08:00

we are going to have one in our house :)
we went to the florist week ago and they didn't have the smallest one and make another trip when their shipment arrived. I saw the tag it's discounted price for early bird but out of stock then told mum why not order now first with the early bird price but get to choose the nice looking tree when their shipment comes. heee the first guy attending to use said it even if we pay now but pick later the price would be the non-early bird price but then after I suggested to mum and asked the girl attending us she said yups sure. Saved :)

I feel like I'm having holidays right now since I had not attend lesson for 4 consecutive days with evaluations & MC & weekends. I'm kind of sick and tired with hectic and challenged days coming everyday non-stop with nonsense by people around especially selfish, inconsiderate, noisy, loud, grumpy, etc....

I think we'll see this happening.

2010-12-04T16:48:00.000+08:00

I think it's simply too much for my sister to keep asking for gifts every season even though my parents are seriously not obliged to get her. She's always asking and getting gift - when she does well for exam, when she done something good, when her birthday comes, when children day comes, when youth day comes, when she first meet someone, when she get visited, when she visit her dad family place, when x'mas comes...usually she would also ask for gift like chocolates ice cream whatever.

While me will always be like the nice girl don't even know what I want when once a year my birthday comes and mum ask me any idea what you want. I think I'm been really nice to parent's pocket all these years not asking for wants even like birthday told them a hot fudge cake will do. Alright, I'm just jealous of her but also think it's too much of her to always expect people treating her right with giftsss. Being jealous, I'm thinking to get an expensive gift from them during this Christmas but no idea what I want.

I'll be able to change new phone soon(next year jan?march?) with plan near to death but I have no idea what phone I want only want a touch screen one. I glimpse at the price though it will be like wow at the moment but I think it's worth it for me since I always use things for years. That day my OS faci was talking about someone thumb drive design being old and student said use like a year plus and he said a year these day can considered as very very very old then I was like ohh then my laptop(5 years + x years sis's dad use)antique already lo. Should I get them to buy me a phone as Christmas gift or have something else for christmas?

Anyway, anyone knows of touch screen phone that is good but not too big nor heavy please, you know how petite I am.

2010-12-04T16:39:00.000+08:00

I dream of seeing this thing and meaning I failed/conditional pass my DSA Assignment One. She gave me a 'D' and below she apologised but it was the fact that my level was really not the standard. Could'not remember what she wrote after the sorry word. I was shocked to see this in my dream when I woke up I remembered yesterday I saw her in lift we chat a while. She asked if they will see the gpa of each module to allow entry for the program, I told her no but look on the overall GPA. I thought maybe since they don't look at individual module thus it won't matter if she give me a 'D'. LOLS I hope not so.

Saw a B+ for one of the UT, OS hahas I was surprise to see B+ appearing cause I really CMI in this module. Went to see the making and hahas terrible so many wrong and only got 24/40(60%).

2010-12-02T22:06:00.001+08:00

For the first time in my life I didn't submit RJ.
Not because I didn't know how to do.
Not because I forgot about it.
Not because I am lazy.
But it was open a day after the lesson ended and I had no idea there was RJ until I saw the grade for that day. Hahas but it didn't affect the grade I got :)

I'm really happy right now with tests and assignments all over. & just now went to see daily grade I was surprise with 2A :D though I thought I would only get B or even C been really under performing in class especially in OS(thanks to dry...) & MIS(thanks to nice...)

Today went to class at 2pm and left at 3pm hehes it's because of DSA evaluation. When I reach and started writing codes out my hands were trembling so much. But the process was quite cool, we had to do out 4 small part of questions on paper but related to the assignments actually I anyhow did it. After I finished it, faci came and look at my Othello and told me about the logic thing I thought she wanted me do modify but nope :) and she said I could go after telling me that. Actually I don't like her way of teaching in class and felt stress and scared of her but I find that she treat girl much better, each time she would come and ask me very gently how I was doing like only once per lesson.

I can't wait to go for driving lesson, I had been wanting to go for weeks but with assignments and test tiring me out and impossible to have time for lesson at all. I saw those student driving around and really wanted to drive too but had not been touching anything related for almost 2 months now.

27th Dec would be when DSA assignment 2 comes out; Christmas present? Kind of horror that it come out soon but who cares? I've been drained so much lately and finally freed right now.

I realise my cat communicate with birds -.- morning when I called her to eat I heard her meow which was surprising. I went into my room and she was there sitting outside look at a bird sitting on top and the bird was looking at her too. Awhile later my cat started meowing at the bird and I was worried she might jump over trying to catch the bird. I tried to hold my cat and get her back but she kept meowing away and I saw the bird making noise too. No choice I took a treat and lure my cat down and didn't let her jump unto the window again. The bird was like so....? Sitting there and kept looking at the cat and me before it decide to shoo away.

In the morning I was sad by some abrupt things happening at home and just nice evaluation was in the afternoon. It seems to be planned before hand for me like to be at home during this timing also other things that happen from time to time... I don't know but still feel blessed by God.

sometimes things are planned & things happen for a reason.

2010-11-23T23:14:00.002+08:00

2010-11-15T20:53:00.000+08:00

Just because I don't express, does not mean I'm emotion-less.

Just because I try hard not to think about it, does not mean it's not in my mind.

Just because I'm quiet, does not mean I've nothing to say.

Just because

Just

Because

2010-11-14T22:34:00.002+08:00

2010-11-14T22:18:00.004+08:00

Pick your choice of nuts.

Urgh, I'm going nuts mentally.

2010-11-09T08:53:00.000+08:00

Are You At Risk Of An Eating Disorder?

Your scores below: (This quiz is not meant to replace professional assessment. For a complete evaluation, seek further advice from a doctor.)

Your Results

Your score: 35%

Based on your answers to this questionnaire, you have checked some of the indicators of eating disorders which could mean you're at risk of an eating disorder. You might want to talk to your doctor about your eating habits.

Common eating disorders

Anorexia nervosa

Anorexia nervosa is an eating disorder characterized by an intense fear of gaining weight or being "fat". It typically starts out innocently as a normal attempt to diet in teenage females, but eventually progresses beyond the individual's control, leading to self-starvation and an extreme weight loss, and in some cases, compulsive exercising. Symptoms include obsession with food and calories, rigid categorization of foods as "good" or "bad," excessive weighing, avoidance of social situations where food is served, denial of eating problems and depression.

People with anorexia also suffer from serious health problems related to malnutrition including anemia, low blood pressure, lowered heart rate, absence of mensturation, decreased metabolism, dizziness, and death in severe cases.

Bulimia

Bulimia is a cycle of uncontrolled binge eating followed by purging -- sufferers eat large amounts of food well past the point of being comfortably full, then get rid of the food through vomiting or laxative abuse. Individuals with bulimia are often of normal weight or even slightly overweight. Bulimia usually starts as an attempt to control weight but quickly becomes a destructive process that cannot be controlled. Food becomes a focal point of life, with an obsession about what can or cannot be eaten. Since bingeing is accompanied by a sense of shame and guilt, episodes usually take place in secret. Bulimic sufferers then compensate for the overeating by purging to get rid of the food before it digests. People with bulimia are often aware that their eating patterns are abnormal and feel out of control, leading to impaired personal relationships, depression and low self-esteem.

Bulimia-related health problems can be serious: Frequent vomiting can lead to the permanent damage of the teeth and esophagus tissues. There is also an increased risk of kidney problems, seizures, and electrolyte imbalance which can lead to cardiac arrest and even death.

Source: www.shoppinglifestyle.com

2010-11-05T12:07:00.000+08:00

Our attendance records indicate that you were absent during the DBIS Year 2 Briefing conducted at LR-W4B, 1230hrs, Wed 27th Oct 2010. As mentioned in the email, your attendance was compulsory as important information were disseminated during that briefing. Despite you have Day 8 classes and were in school, yet you were absent for the briefing. This email is therefore served to you as a stern warning against your misconduct.

As such, you are hereby required to give an explanation on why you were absent for the briefing. If you were on MC or LOA, you must provide us documentary proof. You must respond by latest 10 Nov 2010. If you fail to do so, you will have to meet your Programme Chair, for a face to face explanation.

I was struck with horror to see this email then I recalled I miss the briefing last month. After so long, they finally sent email to warn...Anyway what happen was coincidentally I check email on 26 morning which the email was not send yet so I didn't check my email till 27 afternoon. I didn't know there was briefing because I didn't check my email just nice for that two days. I only knew when one of my ex classmate told me he went for the briefing. I was like oh wth what should I do now? Nothing I could do at all. Since they demand explanation after taking so long to check yes I have lesson on that day, I went for lesson but didn't know when for the briefing. I was seriously sorry about being absent so I apologised in my explanation but not sure if he would accept it. Weird part, I dreamt last night that he reply with
" okay fine
go run 20km around the field
no
run 16km"
I must be mad -.-

2010-10-31T01:36:00.002+08:00

Maternal Grandparent came out on Thursday, I thought they would reach while I'm still in school but they reached only after I reached home minutes later.

Today we went out with them for walks around the neighbourhood before heading to IMM. At some point of time while Mum were looking for things we needed, grandma went to walk inside without so much noisy and people. But my mind was going, I should go find her afterall it matters more about spending time with grandma rather than going Daiso together but shop separately. I could not stand the noise and crowd and went off to find her inside before going back to check on Mum.

It was time for them to leave for dinner with my Aunt's family and boss. We drop them off below my Aunt's house and went to Lot 1 intending to grab dinner and go but still went for rounds with mum before going home. Mum and I went to the ladies, a lady came out of the cubicle while I wanted to go in and saw iphone inside but the lady walked too fast to hear me. I was thinking if I should take the iphone to her or to ask her take it herself, seriously before I got the answer processed in my mind I ran up to her and ask if she left her phone inside. She was so shocked and relief when I asked her and quickly ran to get her phone. After it happen I was glad I did not take the phone to her but asked her to take it herself at least she won't be able to accuse me of anything in case she the kind of bad people.

I thought New York's food was expensive around $30 per plate but it's only less than $20. We went to order and walk around while waiting, when we head back to take the food, I saw people taking candy floss. Previously when we went it's always empty there and my sister would like I want but too bad nobody is there. Mum caught me by surprise and requested the lady to make one for me. She had to attend people while she asked me to wait, I followed mum over to take dinner. When we about to leave, the lady came with a big candy floss :))) hahas, I'm so shy and smiling.

Mum and I were talking about how my sister would look at me and say I want~ and I shall not let her eat since she always tempt me with food but never share with me. While I was eating, she appeared from behind and said wahhh candy floss! Hahas, naughty me. I told her to come, I don't let you eat! She goes okay lo but filled with so much unhappiness. As I was eating it start to melt, pretty fast to melt. But I still shared with my sister, always such a good sister to her lols. I told her how good I was to share with her though she does not share with me her food and she said because my candy floss is free.
-.- it's not about free, it is about SHARING.

My suggested for Christmas Party this year with us cooking again for everyone. I'm looking forward to it and if they can confirm to come then we shall go Daiso for X'mas decorations.

I'm also thinking of why not have a X'mas party too with friends...anyone interested?

Feel so blessed and happy today for 3 things:
- Spending time with grandparent
- Surprise Candy Floss
- Mum cut meat for me to eat

I'm a happy girl for another day :)))

2010-10-29T23:09:00.001+08:00

I am a happy girl.

I manage to sell off quite a few vouchers but didn't earn much from there with chopped price and discounts. But nevertheless I shall be a happy girl and satisfied with what I have. After all these are just extra, something special given to me. Truthfully, I think it's from God not because it's from a lucky draw and coincidently I have luck and got it.

I let you know how much I earn from it when I finish selling them.

I manage to sell off everything in such short time :)
* clap clap *
I think I lose about.... can't remember but around x07 (x should be around 5)

2010-10-29T23:00:00.001+08:00

我喜欢晴天. & Sunny called.

It's been cold for me lately. Rain out of the blue especially twilight or midnight making me shiver in bed and refuse to wake up. This morning it rained out of sudden and heavy from blur images in my mind. It was cold and I started to plan wear pants and long sleeves. When I went out, rain stopped and Sun was there shinning just enough to feel the warmth. I remembered when I was young I don't like the rain, but there was a time I prefer cloudy than sunny day especially in secondary days.
你喜欢阴天还是晴天？阴天。我也是。It's from one of Studio Ghibli's work. It linked me to the question and now my answer is I prefer Sunny day.

Just as I finish my work for the day and changed my status, I got a call from don't know who number. From YFC people, but like a chain my number got passed around and different people call me all the time. Previously during holidays they called and ask me to join them for the conference and I agreed but played it off. After months, when I suddenly have them fly across me and ring ring. This time was a guy, friend of PQ & J who called me before and he is calling on behalf of them.

They are having a PAC on 8th Nov at City Hall, with a topic of 'Who am I? - Ever wondered why you behave differently in front of different people?' As he said this, flashing came to my about my thoughts of why some friends can be called 'my friends' for so years but yet never in fact got as close as friends. I know perfectly well of that, I can get very fun with _____ but very statue with ____ . Pretty interesting topic, I am interested in knowing that from psychology point of view too.

He asked if I might be able to get Christian friends along from church and class, well I don't think I can. I am not close with them, it's like a come and go thing. Awww, so he decided to introduce me Christian in our school so that we can go together on 8th Nov. Previously, PQ introduced me once and I kept running way despite I agreed.I go hum, okay again throughout and start to be .... then he asked if I am comfortable with all these arrangements, being unknown for what I want I told him, no but still okay. Hahas contradicting.

As he kept talking more with more meet up I get more hesitant and long pause before I answer. My phone was charging and I had to stand there, my eyes went weary. He notice I seems to be lost in my own world and asked if I was okay, yes but I'm getting sleepy. Realising that I am going to dream off he ended the conversation confirming with me about the meet up and I go yea.....But in my mind I go like well see how then.

He realised he forgot to introduce himself. His name is Sunny.

晴天 Sunny lols?

2010-10-26T21:49:00.000+08:00

When you get it, does not mean you have the money.

I got them yesterday and it's a stack of them but seems like not much people uses it.

1 Good thing is that I can use to buy Choices products :)

but I still rather sell them off than spend everything on food.

2010-10-23T10:27:00.000+08:00

On Thursday, Pigglet said he would come over and bring Creamy out for walk since he haven seen her for sometime too but ended up didn't turn up. Quite disappointing uh, I been hoping to bring her out but I can't pull her but she would drag me on the floor instead. What to do?

Creamy was send back last night, being so excited to go out when I packed her things. But we dragged before we went out, she started whining at us even stood on two legs at the door looking outside wanting to go out.

She was really excited in the car kept moving around and tried to go to the front having to hold her down. Horrible, sis's dad don't know what the hell came over from my seat to take her down ended up Creamy giving me scratches on my thighs when I already said in the car, I will hold her and after sis go down then Creamy out of the car. Is he deaf or he couldn't care much.

2010-10-23T10:21:00.000+08:00

We used to eat Papaya by cutting it into half and dig out the flesh to eat.
& I forgotten how to remove the skin of the Papaya.

Screw it,

"I noted your effort to work on the problem. Complete the rest if you have not done so.
In your RJ, you are not answering my questions. Isnt that the answers to the third meeting quiz?
This is a low B."

I'm dying soon for my modules especially DSA, horrible. For third meeting, we don't have to present our codes but we have quiz to code which makes me so dead. Being unable to do out the Quiz is one thing, another is that RJ question is similar to Quiz question too. Last week took Quiz codes from team mate and modify to suit RJ question but seems to her that they are the same.

OS module is another hell for me, I dislike my Facilitator with his way of 'guiding'. I prefer them to assume we don't know anything rather than assuming we all know something. So what we are an IT class, that does not mean we know-it-all about IT and we don't choose to be whose class we want to .

Next week onwards, MIS Facilitator will be back to take over but he's a foreigner and heard he's strict and expect participation.

So far I think I prefer SAD module, though Facilitator listed out 9 rules but she's Good! She will recap with us on lesson and try another approach to help us remember and understand. Some point of time I see her as secondary school teacher but she the kind you won't feel restricted by her rules. She's great so far.

I be skipping one of the lesson next week either on Monday when having WA or on Wednesday cause I don't like the Facilitator. WA is easy for me to catch up compared to OS guess I have to endure to see his face.

2010-10-17T01:06:00.000+08:00

Sugar Honey :)

2010-10-17T00:52:00.002+08:00

什莫都要我做。

不该做的也得做。

花多点精力帮你却当成理所当然。

狗大小便也不管就算在你面前也等着叫我清理。什么都叫我。

谁不累？

谁喜欢？

你总说你很累，很多东西你得去做，应付这应付那把你搞得晕头转向。

谁不觉得自己付出的比任何人都多？

我何必

我何苦

就不爽，怎样。

不爽又没地方发泄。

不爽又不能出去。

不爽又没的说。

2010-10-16T22:40:00.001+08:00

Bored.

2010-10-15T23:18:00.000+08:00

When it happens, I have so much things processing in my brain but having a blank piece of paper in front of me I am unable to write down the output of the processes in me.

Sister is getting from bad to worse, soon to be a bad student. Mum was called to school today and went to meet the teachers that lasted over 2hours. I had never tried that before seriously, especially when making my teacher boiling hot so much that tear up worksheet and flip my bag out to find homework, things that I had never and won't be able to do. She has been turning bad for quite awhile with her nice goody teacher patiently waiting and tolerating her nonsense hoping she would get better someday yet it went worse. Her teacher snapped leaving last resort to call mum to go school at the split second instead of I want to see your mum tomorrow which usually would be this way.

What to do? Fact is, my mum told me that she used to be like this too when she was young but back then teacher could cane student so, what my sis do now is just a reflection of what she has done. I been thinking that perhaps I'm too obedient and never had been on rebellious mode thus making their life easy and now with a normal child to rebel at this stage become so tough for them to handle. Whatever.

Meow Kheng asked me if I am interested to get a job which seems to be pretty easy. Told mum and she objected. I was pretty upset but not angry that she everything seems also cannot when it comes to me trying to find job. Seriously, I'm sad that at the age of 18 I am living a life of age 14-16.

At the age of 18, I only wish to get a job not as if I want to go clubbing or do anything that is bad yet she don't allow. As parent, I know she care but she shouldn't she let go off me slightly a bit more? Which 18 years old would have the life of mine, everyday home to school and school to home. Using phone to call mum instead of friends, tagging beside mum whenever I go out. As long she says she don't like nor agree then cancel it. Going out yet still think of mum in mind.

She used to be open minded about things but right now as I grow older starting to identify what I wants and only to hear her saying objections I find that she only talks to be open minded.

Another side I thought of was, when I was still young she started to let me have the freedom of 17 years old but she only limit till there and now when it's time to let a bit looser and she didn't. Thus, seems like I'm turning rebellious or making herself seems so selfish.

Next perhaps it because then I didn't not start wanting what she said she open minded about and when I tried to get it then she start going the opposite way.

I know this is long maybe side track too till it does not make any sense to you but anyway at least I got off something.

I'm going to breathe.

2010-10-15T21:52:00.000+08:00

I love Friday class because it's the only day with 3 people that I know of.

From the day I saw class rooster and know Jia Hui is in the same class with me but I realised that she never know about it despite entering the class with me sitting in front of her back facing her.
I'm happy to have her in the same class as me, I have no idea why but seeing people from W46F kind of make me high. Coincidentally, Valerie is in diagonally opposite class coming over at times and make a fool of ~~herself~~ himself, Hahahaha!

I start to chance upon my ex classmates and seeing them I feel so shocked but it's the shocked that filled with joy. I'm so happy to see them as if I had not seen them for years.

*cute*

2010-10-14T20:59:00.000+08:00

Whosh, there it goes again.

2010-10-08T22:10:00.001+08:00

What’s The Fuss?

赢了咯。

I had been spending this week out, only reached home around evening or night time.

Guess I’ve been wild and now do not like to be kept at home just like Merly, the kitten we brought home for a day intending to adopt it but later on her first owner was not agreeable the way we let it roam around our house without locking it up in a cage to prevent it from running away thus returning it back for barely less than 24 hours spent with us. It didn’t catch any sleep in our house and kept running around seizing the opportunity to play as much as it wants at the moment.

In what way am I similar to it? Oh well right now I don’t feel like staying at home anymore. I reached home looking the same mess before I left the house and even more mess on the other side with my sister back home and nobody care, nobody clean as if waiting for me to reach home and do everything. I was mad, really really mad everything waiting for me to do. When I have to go school in the day, even when I am having holidays, even when I am out. How will I not be angry? How will I not be grumpy, for me to clean the house, keeping it neat and tidy eventually the rest of them messing it all up and asking me to clean and do this and that yet mum still blaming me for this and that. How the hell could I tolerate all these? I’m not your maid, mind you.

Just now mum was complaining about me being fierce towards my sister despite she may do wrong and mess up the house. Ya right, now what? 2 of them are just letting my sister getting her way out through messing up the house and not listening to me yet blaming to be too fierce towards her? Fine, I shall not care about a damn thing of it and let them boil hot enough to snap off and let them teach her by themselves. During dinner, mum asked my sister to eat some meat and vegetables, she refused then mum said about having soup once again my sister tried to snake off and eventually mum snapped banging table and yell at her. First time in my life, ‘you deserved it.’ was in my mind.

Sis’s dad came back and my mum started complaining about each and every one of us and says about how tired, busy bla bla bla she is and don’t know what the hell I am grumpy about. Maybe I should get a life by getting a job and stop staying at home doing all these things yet being blamed and not having someone to feel for me.

2010-10-05T23:46:00.000+08:00

My sister does not appreciate me.
I'm pissed off at her for treating me like trash bin, maid.
Throwing her responsibility at me and shun away whenever she suppose to get something done
which then I have to be the one cleaning up the mess.
My parents doesn't care either, letting her getting her way out.
I'm mad, so so so mad.

2010-09-20T23:21:00.000+08:00

How bad is the economy?

It is definitely getting

very bad

(Cat's are so dramatic)

Damn funny!

Took it from one of the forwarded mails in the past when we would just spam everyone inside contacts with these funny pictures and jokes around.

2010-09-18T01:37:00.000+08:00

Life as a Vampire

2010-09-05T14:57:00.001+08:00

2010-09-03T23:29:00.001+08:00

Something has been on my mind,

indescribable,

comes and go as it like,

made me moody,

drives me crazy.

Went out with mummy today feeling so excited and good only two of us around. But many shops were preparing to close down with the upcoming renovation thus didn't buy what we were expecting.

All of a sudden start to feel down and after ordering food mummy asked why do I look so moody and indeed I start to get moody around. She went off first leaving me behind to foot the bill and went to Popular to get some stuff before going to find her. She was there so long with the sales uncle and I sat outside listening to song staring blankly, eventually walk one round and basement and finally she's done.

Walk Yoyo out at night to pass CD to my friend, on our way home guess what! I saw Tud tud, the pretty meow that left my house. He saw me and meow loudly towards me and I think he remembers me :) Guess he is living well, clean and fit should be adopted by someone else and came out to play so much that he is hungry looking for food.

Mum called and ask how do I know it's him, well intuition but 100% is him when my sister was in doubt and carried him up to see his stomach with all the lines, striped and patterns matched perfectly well except he is longer :D

My sis and I were suppose to cycle together with Kit kit along after I got back home with Yoyo. But Kit was refusing to go out and had a bad temper while my sis tried to force her out. Told her not to force the meow to go and instead two of us go together. There she goes again, together with her meow throwing temper and refuse to go without her cat. Oh well I went alone then, feeling unhappy with my sister repeatedly dumping me alone after what she promised me :(

isn't it nice?

2010-09-03T23:09:00.000+08:00

2010-09-02T00:39:00.000+08:00

I'm not even opening my laptop to flip through.

Sad.

Why can't I be people around me, mugging hard and smart enough to get them A's and get through JC entering University

2010-08-30T01:20:00.005+08:00

RANTINGS RANTINGS RANTINGS

This post wills all going to be my RANTINGS, everything that I hadn’t been saying out all these times.

I realize that I had been enduring everything by my mum, sis and dad. I didn’t complain out much to them of their behavior like I used to and get very annoyed by them so much that I just lost my temper.

Last week, went to see a good friend of my mum, also a counselor consult her about changing my sister to a better person. Had a good long session there and finally, something that I had been waiting for was finally spoken. ---- I should lead my own life and stop interfering, doing more than what my responsibility required. Lately I was reminded me a nickname given to me by a secondary friend, superwoman being the reason of not needing to sleep much yet still able to work as normal person LOLS. One day I went to ask my sister too and she agreed not because I do not sleep much but I was able to handle so many things at a time.

Mum start to take charge of disciplining my sister personally instead of sending me to go and handle her and only get my mum over when she does not listen to me. Oh well, a good start but….

Knowing my good sister, 讲话不清不出让人听了不耐烦，做什么事都不考虑到后果，骂又骂不听。She often step on bombs with her weakness mention above and usually I would be the one to help her out everything before she start to get all the scolding from them but now I would be able to help her much and just let her be with them dealing with her testing their patience and getting punished as long as not too serious otherwise I would not care much about it. Time for me to rest and stop being too nice to her end up making myself frustrated.

It’s been tough and I wonder how I had been able to do so well in the past thinking back now. Trying to help sister to cover up or something before parents find out then after they knew and scolded her then have to find a way help her or something. Challenging part is after you told her what she had done wrong, what she need to do next and what going to happen next if she do not follow what I told her yet she like a sotong not knowing what to do and still make the same mistake.

Halfway my mum scold her then her dad will come angry and scold my mum or getting angry at her for scolding my sister. Both of them will end up quarrelling over my sister’s fault with her dad thinking she should not be punish or scolded for sister wrong doing while my mum thinks she should be corrected and after repeating of using carrot finally she take a step forward not yet taking out her weapon but only scold. After so many years all I can see the fruits of the sow seed is: 宠坏。 So now, realizing she is so vegetable he start to discipline her too but going to 2 extreme ends. 1 is to use carrot, other is to use stick (cane) fyi, when he cane, tsk tsk tsk too much force used leaving her bruise. Pretty lot of times it made me go berserk and ended up scolding him and so pissed off at him, that will be another part of the story but continuing on where I left….oh ya after they quarreled, my will come over to find me and start telling me all her troubles and so on then I have to go optimistic, 苦中作乐。It’s like holding on to everyone trouble and emotion, as if I’m a rubbish bin? Or the places where they dump all the rubbish all over Singapore and burn them off like I’m the last stop to hold everything and consumed them off.

I’ve got much more to rant but I’m heading off to sleep and forget all about them J

2010-08-29T19:38:00.004+08:00

It was good and nice to be back in Speedlight, went together with my sister and felt good. It would be great to be there if I continue on to have friends together attending services, lunching and going for cell but they all left....:(

Congregate was pretty small today due to all the examinations coming up, Jason was sharing today and he was indeed funny and different being able to capture almost everyone's attention with his funny jokes and moments.

Intended to visit Creamy after church but failed. Aunty was too busy for us to go over.

Does not come in the moment you prayed.

2010-08-29T19:34:00.000+08:00

My sis showed me this and it's hilarious! A very good song for all the mothers nagging their child, mom should sing them instead of nagging the kids.

2010-08-27T13:24:00.000+08:00

Been having headache lately and now I feel like banging my head against the wall

2010-08-26T23:31:00.000+08:00

9.5分的。。。

我的防空洞是怎么造出来的，你应该知道。