For a better?
Friday, 19 August 2011 | 11:12 pm | 0 hearts♥
Guess 我长大了, been thinking a lot recently but same as before those thoughts were all indescribable. Words cannot seem to express them out clearly but everything is going through my mind not in a very clear motion, they are blurrish yet many are going through.
Feel burdened for unknown reasons and moody, not due to PMS but just somehow everything not making me feeling satisfied, not seeing the value in them. Family seems to be a trouble for me, education is a worry for me, life seems meaningless right now but I won’t end it. Sigh, just a feeling that cannot express not know where the root cause it and solve it.
I think time for me to move and find things in life, excitement I think. Feeling so bored and feels like doing something crazy out of the blue.
I want to change.
To do
| 11:03 pm | 0 hearts♥
Went for driving 2 days ago after break for 6months, and met one of the dislike instructor and he seem to be pleased that I was driving well unlike previously so many mistake that I think he was pissed off but he told me about some other stuff while driving and at a moment made me confused of what I should do. Before I left, he even said hopefully tomorrow lesson will be meet, I was stun and went ‘huh?’ and ‘oh’ the next second but in me I was like I won’t want that to happen, Sir. Didn’t you know how stress I am with you as my instructor thus making so many mistakes.
Yesterday lesson went the same as 2 days ago lesson with the first instructor sleeping and I end up doing my own practices for parking and mount the kerb to wake him up but end up as my penalty for assessment L never mind it was just a lesson. The next lesson tio the dislike instructor again and so sian to see him, make a few mistake and I think he seems angry again hahas, almost got into accident with taxi driver appearing out of nowhere when I change lane to u-turn. I was shocked and lost reaching the bend before u-turn just stop the car and clear for a second to move on, felt damn stress and bad for so much wrong. Not sure if he could see my stressed look, but I think he tried to be nice and explain to me of the taxi driver instead of lecture me.
After lesson felt so bad and went emo, at night went off to jog a little despite sore legs but after jog soreness went off. Felt really good after the jog and watch the stars for a while before heading home and heard frogs croaking -.-|||where did that come from?
Find Your Papa - FYP
Thursday, 11 August 2011 | 12:16 am | 0 hearts♥
Before FYPDecided to leave my at the last minute thinking the impossibility to work with ss anymore being such a ss. However felt really bad for xx, she's nice and good but her good friend is too much for me to continue on as a team.
After FYP
Glad & Thankful for leaving the team with such a bitch in the team, I won't be able to survive. Taking credit of others, taking work of others and presented as if it was hers. Trying to flatter evaluator when suggestion was give by advisor not them. Really damn pissed off with her for being such a ss. It's fine if you don't know how to do work and we can help but it's not fine for being such a kind person. I really agree with that current trend about horoscope under the category she falls under.
Presentation was on Monday and it made me so damn piss for days with the image of her flooding my mind but unable to release that anger out. Even at night I dreamt and felt the awfulness. Today finally able to put it down after telling someone about it, I guess that it works to tell someone.